Operation Meow
by Oconee Belle
Summary: Carter stumbles across five abandoned kittens while out on a mission. Unable to just leave them there all by themselves in the woods, he sneaks them into Stalag 13. Getting them in was one thing. Getting them out AND into good homes turns out to be quite another.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"What took you so long, Andrew? We were worried about you!"

"I'm sorry," Carter panted as he climbed out of the tunnel. "But, you have no idea how hard it is to sneak around the woods with five kittens in your jacket! And if you think that's hard, try climbing up a ladder!"

"Kittens?!" LeBeau took a step back and his eyes darted to the wiggling bulge wrapped up in Carter's bomber jacket. "_Five_ kittens?!"

Colonel Hogan rolled his eyes with a sigh, "Just what are we going to do with five kittens? Carter, I sent you to pick up an air drop of _radio parts_, and you come back with _kittens_?"

"I couldn't just leave them there, sir! They were so pitiful, and frightened and all-,"

"And what if the Krauts get their hands on our radio parts? Then what do we do?" Kinch interjected. Although typically the last one to grow annoyed at Carter's antics, they were talking about the most valuable piece of equipment that kept their operation together. And without those pieces, they were out of action.

"I got those too! See, right here!" Carter went over to his bunk and dumped out his jacket, kittens and all. Five little balls of fur leapt up and started sniffing his blankets, meowing and whining.

Newkirk bent down to retrieve the small parcel of unharmed radio parts, shaking his head at the cats. "Blimey, of all the things I planned on doing this war, being a father to five li'l blighters was not one of them!"

Carter ignored Newkirk's remark and sat down on his bunk. He picked up one of the meowing kittens, gently rubbing it behind it's ears with a huge smile. "Aren't they great, Colonel?" He looked as if he had just been transported from the war straight to heaven.

"Carter!" Colonel Hogan crossed his arms over his chest. "I sure hope you aren't expecting that we're going to keep them."

"Oh, of course not, sir!" Carter piped up before Newkirk could make another jab at him. His hand darted out to keep one of the kittens from falling off the side of his bunk. "But maybe just for tonight though. They sure are something! What are we going to name them?"

Rolling his eyes heavenward, Newkirk slouched against the bunk post. "Don't let 'im name them, Guv. If 'e does that, next thing you know 'e'll be sleeping with them, and after that, 'e won't want to give them up!"

"Oui, Colonel!" LeBeau nodded sharply in agreement. "There is no telling what trouble they will cause us! Not to mention how we are going to feed all _five_ of them."

Carter just hung his head and stroked the calico that was curled up in his lap, "But we can't just leave them outside, sir. They don't even know where their mama is, and if I was a kitten, I wouldn't want to be lost in the dark without my mom."

"Carter does make a point, sir." Kinch smiled and sat down on the edge of the bunk, picking up a fluffy gray one. Before burying its velvety nose dramatically into the crook of Kinch's elbow, the kitten meowed loudly in protest with a long whine added in as a pitiful afterthought."Whoa now, little fella! What's all that fussing about, hmm?"

"Oh Kinch, not you too!" Newkirk put a hand to his forehead, "Guv, I beg you to see what's going on 'ere! One day they're kittens, the next they're family!"

LeBeau stepped in to agree, but Hogan raised his hand for silence. "I know, I know. But, Carter's right. I don't like the idea of leaving them out there either. They can stay here," he paused and raised an eyebrow at the young sergeant. "Just for the night. Understand?"

"Sure thing! Thank you Boy- Sir!" Carter held the calico out in front of him excitedly. "Did you hear that, Sparky? You're spending the night with us! Of course, so are all of you!" he piled them up on his lap with a big bright grin on his face.

"Sparky? Oh, bloody marvelous!" Newkirk groaned as he climbed up into his bunk above Carter's. He yanked his blanket over his shoulders and flopped down on his back. "Some war this 'as turned out to be."

LeBeau's shoulders drooped as he looked at the five new additions to the barracks family. "Where are they going to sleep, André? Certainly you do not expect them to stay in bed with you all night."

"I have an old box down below," Kinch offered. "It's not that big, but it'll do for now."

Carter's eyes were shining, "Hey, that'll be great! They can sleep with my jacket too. It has fleece, if I turn it inside out. It'll be just like they're with their mom."

Shaking his head, Colonel Hogan bent down to pick up one of the squirming kittens that had dropped to the floor. It let out such a whine he was surprised Schultz didn't come barging in. "Shh, no need for that," he held it to his chest and started stroking it behind its soft ears. "If you're going to stay here the night you guys need to behave like good little POWs."

Kinch paused midway down the ladder, "Hey, isn't that the one I was holding earlier?"

"I think so," Hogan held the gray kitten out at arm's length. "It sure sounded like the same one."

"He sure is a fussy little fella, isn't he?" Kinch mused as he disappeared down into the tunnel.

"Little fella?" Hogan tilted his head with a raised eyebrow. "No wonder she's offended. This one's a girl."

~HH~

"LeBeau?" Carter gave his friend a gentle shake. "Psst, Louis? Come on, wake up buddy." All he got in reply was a sleepy grumble, so he shook LeBeau even harder, "Please wake up, Louie." Finally, LeBeau's eyes flickered open, but if he was really awake Carter had no idea.

"Go back to bed, Andrew," he mumbled, sleepily pushing Carter out of his face. "Let me get back to Lucette."

"Please, Louis, the kittens are crying and I don't know how to make them stop."

LeBeau snuggled back down into his blanket with a sleepy sigh, "And what makes you think I do?"

"Oh, come on, I know Newkirk won't help me. And have you ever tried waking up Kinch? Plus, I bet you're good with animals and the kittens _won't_ stop crying."

"André, you flatter me," LeBeau grumbled, slowly sitting up to rub the sleep from his eyes. "What did you want again?"

"The kittens, LeBeau, the kittens!"

"Oui, the kittens," the French corporal blindly climbed down from his bunk and had to fight the urge to collapse on the empty one below him. Carter grabbed his arm before he could make up his mind and started dragging him to the box of kittens sitting up on his bunk. Three little balls of fur were poking their heads out and two of them had tumbled onto the bed.

"Just let me light a candle," LeBeau yawned and stumbled around the dark barracks to his footlocker. Why in the world he was up at this hour was beyond him. Why in the world he was up feeding _kittens_ at this hour was even more appalling.

He silently opened his footlocker and took out a box of matches. Then, just as quietly, opened Newkirk's and got out his friend's Red Cross Package. He had seen a can of Klim Milk* in it earlier, and decided powdered milk was the best thing they had for the kittens. He would have used his own can of milk, but he had already used it all up in a recipe. Hopefully, Newkirk would understand.

In a few minutes, the room was bathed in soft candle light, but aside from a few sleepy sighs and movements, most of the prisoners didn't stir. LeBeau started busying around, setting out two bowls, and mixing the milk and water into them.

Carter sat on his bunk with the whining kittens piled in his lap, his eyes following LeBeau around the barracks. "We'll feed you guys," he whispered reassuringly. "LeBeau's making you something to eat. I think you'll like it. He's a great cook."

"There's nothing 'great' about powdered milk, Andrew," LeBeau sat down on the edge of the bed and gave Carter a bowl and a soft washcloth before scooping one of the kittens into his lap. "You dip the corner of the washcloth into the milk and let them suck the milk from it, like this." He demonstrated and Carter caught on quickly. However, the kitten did not what so ever.

Carter sighed impatiently after a few seconds, his shoulders slumping. "It isn't working." The kitten he was holding was doing more whining then sucking.

"Patients, mon ami," LeBeau gently nuzzled the corner of his cloth against his kitten's milk covered mouth and it bit down, sucking like it's little life depended on it. "It takes babies a long time to learn anything. See?"

After a few more failed tries, Carter's kitten found out there was milk on the washcloth and stopped whining just long enough to take a sip. But, right after it finished licking its lips, it started meowing again. "Hey, you were doing so well a minute ago!" Carter whispered. The kitten quieted and latched back on pitifully. "That's better."

"Save some for the rest of your siblings!" LeBeau quietly scolded, wiggling the washcloth out of the black kitty's mouth. He laid that one aside and picked up Sparky. Patiently he tried over and over again to teach him how to drink, but Sparky had other plans that didn't involve sitting still. "Look, Sparky, I am doing the best I can, but you must help me!" The pep talk didn't work too well either.

Carter could see this wasn't going to end well for both LeBeau and Sparky when Sparky _accidentally_ knocked some of the milk in LeBeau's lap.

"Hey, LeBeau, can we trade?"he quickly intervened, saving Sparky from a would be down to earth French lecture. He held out a squirming white kitten, "Sparky might respond to me better."

"That is a most wonderful idea," LeBeau plunked Sparky in Carter's lap and reached for the white one. He smiled when the kitten immediately started sucking, stopping only to lick its lips and purr. "My my, you know your way around food, mon petit amie. I need to take you to France and show you what real food is. Believe me, it tastes far better than this barbarous _canned _milk."

"I actually think this stuff tastes pretty good," Carter said, half distracted with Sparky, who had finally decided he'd try some of the milk.

"That is because you don't know any better," LeBeau shook his head in disgust."The cruel tortures you Americans put food under is emotionally disturbing."

He dipped the cloth back in the bowl and held it up to the white one's lips. The tiny kitten smacked and clamped down on the cloth with a bit of violence. "Calm down, baby! It's not out to kill you!" he laughed at the resolve in the kitten's blue eyes.

He couldn't keep himself from enjoying feeding them, even if it was what, _two_ in the morning?

"Hey, LeBeau, you should name that one. I'm having a hard time naming them all."

"What?" LeBeau glanced up at Carter's shadowy face. "Non, I am not naming her. Le Colonel said we are getting rid of them tomorrow anyway."

"Well, I know that, but how would you like to be spending the night with a group of strangers who never asked you what your name was? I'd be pretty offended."

"_I_ would tell them my name," LeBeau rolled his eyes. "Look Carter, we are not keeping them. Don't get attached to them."

"Please, LeBeau? That way whoever we give them to won't have to name them." Carter paused thoughtfully before adding, "And, they'll know we took good care of them because we fed them _and _we named them."

Sighing, LeBeau looked down at the kitten in his hands. It was pure white with black tips on its ears and tail and it had tiny black paws. Its velvety nose was black too, but its eyes were bright blue and wide open.

"You could name her Snowball or Snow White, or even Snowflake-,"

"I thought you said I could name her!"

"Oh, yeah," Carter's face lit up. "What are you gonna name her then?"

"I'm trying to think!" LeBeau hissed, gently rubbing his thumbs behind the kitten's ears. Soft creamy hair poked out from them, making her look excited. It was a very beautiful cat. And the French word for beautiful _was_ an English name.

"Tu es belle, bébé chat."

"Huh?" Carter tilted his head. "That's a kinda long name if you ask me."

"Nobody asked you," LeBeau mumbled. He looked up at Carter's confused face. "Belle is the perfect name for her. If you want to name her something else, go right ahead."

Carter quickly shook his head, "No, I like the name Belle! I was just afraid you were going to name her that whole sentence!"

"I wouldn't dream of it!" LeBeau scoffed. "The poor cat would go deaf having a name that long." He gently set Belle back in the box along with the long haired gray one, Sparky, and the black one. Carter had the last kitten in his lap, but it looked like it was about ready to fall asleep. It could hardly keep the washcloth in its mouth.

Standing up to take his bowl to the sink, LeBeau looked down into the box full of kittens. "We will be needing newspaper now that they've eaten," he said half to himself. He set the bowl in the sink and looked around for something to use as paper. It wasn't like they were allowed to read the German newspapers, even if they were able to get away with lots of crazy things.

Carter set the last kitten down into the box, "Goodnight Sparky and Belle. Don't worry, we'll think up names for the rest of you guys tomorrow."

"Andrew, maybe you should get your jacket out of there now that they've all been fed. Here, I found some scraps of cloth in Pierre's footlocker that we can use instead."

Carter looked up from the kittens, "But why?"

LeBeau gave him a look.

"Oooh!" Carter quickly rescued his jacket. "Good idea."

Shaking his head, LeBeau knelt down and started arranging the cloth. _That's all I get? Good idea? What would you do without me?_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Newkirk woke up to the sound of meowing. Loud meowing. Actually, it sounded more like a terrible and offensive form of crying.

_Can't a bloke get a decent amount of sleep around here? _Turning over with a groan, he peered down the side of his bunk. Kinch and Carter were up already and feeding the kittens powdered milk.

"If you keep that up, you'll never get anything to eat," Kinch chuckled from below him.

"She sure is a cry baby," Carter looked up from feeding Sparky. "What are we going to name her?"

Kinch raised an eyebrow. "We? I'm just helping you feed them before Schultz gets in here, remember?"

"Well, could you at least give me a good idea?"

Newkirk flipped over on his back and closed his eyes. _Don't fall for it, mate! If you name _**_one_**_, the longer we're going to 'ave to keep them _**_all_**_!_

"I don't know, Andrew. Naming them might not be a good idea. It'll make it harder for us to get rid of them."

Newkirk could just see it- the gears in Carter's head turning. The innocent puppy dog eyes he was probably giving the other sergeant. And then the kicker would be that one sentence that would melt Kinch's golden heart.

"The way I see it, we should try to make them feel wanted as long as they're here, you know? Animals can sense that. My puppy back at home didn't like us until we named him."

Sighing, Kinch looked down at the little gray fur ball that acted more like a queen then a cat. She was licking her lips and whining again, this time softly as she bit back down on the wash cloth. "Why not? It's not like I want to keep calling you the 'fussy one' anyway."

As silly as it may have sounded, she seemed to be begging him to name her something that spoke royalty. She must have thought she was something special, what with her long gray hair. "How about we call you Princess? You like that?"

"Princess? Blimey, the last thing that cat needs is a bigger 'ead!" Newkirk finally spoke up, his amusement hidden by the exasperation in his voice. Yep, Kinch was a goner.

"Could you three be quiet?" LeBeau piped up grumpily from his bunk. "I was up half the night tending to kittens when I should have been dreaming about a lovely mademoiselle."

Before they could reply, Schultz came barging in, "ROLL CALL! ROLL CALL! EVERYONE OUT, RAUS! RAUS! RAUS!"

"Just let us finish feeding the kittens, Schultzie!" Carter called, setting Sparky back in the box and pulling out the black one.

"Kittens? Jolly Joker!" Schultz rolled his eyes and started for the door before it actually dawned on him. "Kittens?!" he took a few steps back. "Please tell me you did not just say that you were feeding kittens!"

Just then Colonel Hogan stepped out of his separate quarters, stretching with an exaggerated yawn, "Morning Schultz. Did you meet the new prisoners yet?"

Schultz squeezed his eyes shut, "Colonel Hogan! Prisoners having pets is _forbidden_! You cannot have one kitten! You cannot have one hundred kittens! Why can't you just act like normal prisoners of war? _Everyone_ would be _much_ happier."

"Aw, Schultzie, we didn't mean anything by it, honest!" Hogan reached down into the box of kittens and pulled out Belle. "It's not our fault that they just appeared on our door step. It just happened that way, isn't that right, fellas?"

"Sure is, Colonel!" Carter quickly piped up.

"But, rules are rules," Hogan sighed, hanging his head. "Get the kittens, men. Let's take them back outside where they belong. Who knows? Maybe a nice Kraut will find them before the bears and wolves do."

"Whoever heard of a 'nice Kraut'?" LeBeau glared off into the distance. "Their luck they'll be long gone before the filthy boche finds them."

"Cockroach, do not say such things!" Schultz pleaded. "It isn't true and it isn't nice! There are good Germans!"

"Show me one!" LeBeau stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest. "Anyone who wants to put five hungry kittens in danger is a filthy boche in my book, including you, Schultz!"

"I am not a filthy whatever you just called me!" Schultz protested, bending down to stroke Sparky. "I _like _kittens! I know _nothing_! You can keep them _all_! I didn't even see _one_ kitten in this entire barracks!" He made a show of petting them for several long seconds to stress his sudden love for kittens, or, most likely to stress the fact that he wasn't a 'filthy boche' and still deserved LeBeau's delicious apple strudel.

"Thanks Schultz!" Carter pulled a blanket over the top of the kitten box and started for the door. "You're not so bad after all!"

~HH~

Newkirk wrinkled his nose, "Louis, did you leave something on the stove?"

"Non, I don't think so," LeBeau sniffed the air and went pale._ "Carter!"_

The young technical sergeant was right behind them, coming in from morning roll call, and was instantly taken back by the smell. "Oh gee, what's that awful smell?"

"Perhaps one of your dearly beloved children forgot where the latrine was," Newkirk suggested dryly, pulling his shirt over his nose and climbing up into his bunk to escape the sour smell.

"That's nonsense," Carter laughed nervously. He made his way to his bunk, "See, I put the blanket over them before…oh." He took in the mess that had been his bed and scratched the back of his neck. "Boy, would you look at that! What were you guys thinking? I mean, really?!"

Two little balls of fur poked up from his piled up blanket and three more heads popped up from the box. They looked innocent enough. Dirty, but innocent.

"Andrew, do you 'onestly think those kittens are dumb enough to use their own bed as a liter box?" Newkirk peered over the side of his bunk, smirking from under the neck of his shirt.

"Well, they should be! They're only kittens!"

"It was your idea," LeBeau mumbled, never looking up from the Red Cross parcel he was rummaging through.

Carter spun on his heel, facing LeBeau, "What else could I of done, huh? Leave them to die?"

"Andrew, look, you're scaring them," Newkirk jumped down from his bunk. "There there, mate, 'e didn't mean it." He reached out to pet the black one in mock sympathy, only to get a hiss in response. Newkirk stepped back, "Why you ungrateful li'l rascal. And right when I was trying to be nice to you."

"Oh, leave him alone, Newkirk," Carter sighed, gently picking up the two kittens from his bed. "Sorry guys. I Know you didn't do it on purpose. Maybe I can get this cleaned up before the Colonel finds out. He's sure to make us get rid of you if he sees this."

He cast pleading eyes on Newkirk who raised both hands and shook his head, "Sorry mate. If there's one thing I'm not doing, it's taking care of kittens. There's a war on, you know."

"I'll help you, mon ami," LeBeau grabbed some wet washcloths and came over to take the box of kittens off the floor. He frowned at Carter's bed and shook his head. "What a mess! Mon Colonel will not be pleased."

Newkirk tilted his head thoughtfully and watched as LeBeau carried the box outside._ If only Mavis were here. She'd gladly take them off our hands, those poor cats._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Corporal LeBeau, what do you think you are _doing_?!" Schultz demanded.

"Washing the kittens," LeBeau didn't look up from Belle. Her white fur was giving him a very hard time. "What does it look like I am doing?"

Schultz leaned his rifle up against the barracks wall and smiled down at the box full of kittens. "That does look like so much fun! They _really_ are well behaved."

LeBeau rolled his eyes, "Why don't you wash them then?"

Taking a step back, Schultz seemed to be reconsidering what he had said. "Nien, I will admire them from a distance. Besides, I am supposed to know _nothing_."

LeBeau shrugged and held Belle out at arm's length, admiring the sunlight glistening on her fur. He proudly set her in a laundry basket and reached in to get Princess. She was not very happy about the whole bath thing and loudly protested.

"Shh," LeBeau scrubbed her fluffy tail. "Mon petit chou, I am doing the best I can! S'il vous plaî, hold still!"

"Maybe you are not asking nice enough," Schultz suggested. "Try saying please."

LeBeau glared up at him, "I just did!"

"Maybe in German," Schultz bent down and smiled warmly at the fussy cat. "Hello, little kitty. Corporal LeBeau is taking very good care of you, I promise! He knows _exactly_ what he is doing. Now, Bitte, hold still so he can wash your tail."

Princess licked her lips and calmed down. "See, she is a German cat, not a French cat."

"Merci, Schultz, I keep forgetting," LeBeau muttered under his breath as he finished with Princess. He gently set her in the laundry basket and pulled Sparky out of the box.

Sparky meowed loudly at the cold water but calmed down when LeBeau spoke to him in soothing French. LeBeau had to fight the overwhelming urge to look up smugly at Schultz, pointing out that maybe there had been one French cat mixed up in the litter after all.

And that's when he did a double take and his eyebrows went up. Carter was in for a big surprise.

~HH~

Carter sat down with a solid thud on his now clean bunk. "What do you mean he's a she?"

"Just what I said. Sparky is a girl. _Une_ _fille_."

"You're kidding," Carter gulped, his eyes bulging out of his head. "Boy, whoever heard of a girl named Sparky?"

Newkirk cocked his head to the side, looking up from the letter he was writing, "Whoever 'eard of a _cat_ named Sparky, male or female?"

"Yeah, well, it was the perfect name. He, I mean she looked just like an explosion, you know? I'd hate to rename her now." Carter's face was stumped and he was cupping Sparky in his hands, looking down at her sorrowfully.

"So what if she's a girl?" Kinch pointed out from the table."If you like the name Sparky, keep it. She won't know the difference. Besides, if you do let her keep the name, she'll be one of a kind."

"Just like 'er master," Newkirk grinned, chewing on the top of his pencil so it looked like he was enthralled with his letter.

"You really think so?" Carter asked doubtfully.

"Oh, I know so mate."

"Okay, why not? Besides, if I change her name now, she won't know who she is anymore."

Colonel Hogan walked in from his quarters, where he had overheard the whole conversation. "Having trouble naming the cats, Carter?"

"No sir, we just solved the problem," Carter paused and frowned. "Actually, yes sir. I'm still having trouble naming the last two cats. And, I don't think they like that very much."

"Well, that's understandable." Hogan squatted down to look into the freshly cleaned box. "Who do you have left?"

"Two boys, Mon Colonel," LeBeau reached down and pulled out an orange and white striped one, handing it to Hogan.

"Well hello there, little fella," Hogan sat down at the table and held the sleepy kitten like a baby. "You sure are a lazy little guy. What are the names of the others?"

"Sparky, Belle, and Princess," Carter replied. "You gonna name one, Colonel?"

Hogan sighed, "I don't think I have a choice. I hate leaving a job half done," he paused to look sternly at Carter. "But this doesn't mean we are keeping them."

"Oh, I know Sir!" Carter grinned. "What are you naming him?"

"Let me think, will ya? Don't rush perfection!" Colonel Hogan scolded playfully.

Newkirk's sat bolt upright, "You're dead serious, aren't you Guv?"

"And why wouldn't I be? Naming them is a good idea. Since when did you meet a cat who didn't want to be named?"

"Now I know you've gone around the bend," Newkirk grumbled, falling flat on his back with a scowl. "Finally cracked under the pressure of command, you 'ave."

Hogan just smirked, looking back down at the kitten in his hands. Carter leaned forward excitedly and even Kinch looked interested.

LeBeau put a hand on Hogan's shoulder. "Well, what is it going to be, Mon Colonel?"

Hogan stroked the cat on its belly, "When all else fails, you can always name a boy cat, Tom."

~HH~

For once the barracks was empty. Colonel Hogan was in his quarters reading a book, and everyone else was outside having recreation. Well, everyone except Newkirk who was adding the finishing touches to his letter.

And that's when one of the kittens woke of from its nap and started climbing out of the box on wobbly legs. Newkirk peered over the edge of his bunk, "Well, 'ello there. Just what do you think you're doing?"

The black kitten looked up at him with big blue eyes and started meowing. Newkirk shook his head and went back to his letter, but the kitten only meowed more and jumped out of the box. It walked back and forth the length of the bunk and grabbed one of the wooden legs, only to tumble off.

"If you keep that up, I'll never finish this letter," Newkirk grumbled.

At the sound of his voice, the kitten meowed louder and tried more desperately to climb up to him. Newkirk couldn't take it anymore. He slammed down his pencil in exasperation and slipped from his bunk. "Look 'ere, I don't care if you roam the entire barracks! All I'm asking is that you keep it down for five minutes! Is that too much to ask of you, you li'l _scamp_?"

The kitten ran over to his ankles and dug its claws into Newkirk's pants leg, pulling himself up with another meow. Newkirk sighed and looked both ways, making sure no one was watching before sitting on the edge of Carter's bunk and unhooking the kitten's claws from the hem of his pants.

"Alright, alright, up you go," he scooped the kitten into his hands and put him up onto his bunk. "If you want to read me bleeding mail, who am I to stand in the way?"

He climbed up after it and lay back down on his stomach, tapping his cheek with the pencil. The kitten thought it was a game and started swatting at it, stepping all over his letter. Thank goodness its paws were still clean.

Newkirk rolled his eyes heavenward, _Why me?_ The kitten started purring and rolled over on its back, batting at the pencil.

"And I thought it was dogs who picked their masters!" Newkirk dragged the pencil across his blankets and watched as the kitten chased it with its paws. "So, you want something to play with? I can work with this."

He jumped down from his bunk and returned a minute later with a string. "There. That should keep you busy while I finish me letter," he nodded with satisfaction at the string that was tacked to his ceiling. The kitten left his pencil alone and dove for the yarn. "Good boy."

Newkirk went back to writing the closing to his letter. _Well, Mavis, I know I said those kittens are bloody awful for morale, but I have to admit that one or two of them might not be so bad after all. Just don't go balmy if I mail you one. At least then it will be one down, four to go._

_Your brother, Peter._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"The black one's name is Scamp."

"Huh?" Carter looked up at his bunk mate with a confused look on his face.

"The one you are 'olding is named Scamp."

"Okay?" Carter shrugged and went back to feeding Scamp. "So, you named one after all."

"Andrew, if I 'ad waited for you to name 'im, the whole war would be over."

Carter shook his head, "No it wouldn't. I was thinking about naming him Smoky or Midnight or something like that."

"Well thank goodness I stepped in before 'e got stuck with a ruddy awful name like Midnight."

"Like Scamp is any better," LeBeau mumbled under his breath, secretly happy he had named Belle before one of the others could give her a plain and, to put it nicely, childish, name.

Carter let both remarks go over his head, as usual. "I wonder what we are going to do with them. It's not like we can walk around town asking if someone needs a kitten."

The friends fell silent for a minute before Newkirk's head snapped up, "_We _can't, but _Schultz _can."

The three of them looked at each other with sly grins on their faces. It just might work.

~HH~

Hogan liked the idea. Bothering the Underground with a small job like this wouldn't do, but Schultz would be perfect for the task. His big heart would get in the way of orders. It was only a matter of convincing him. And that shouldn't be too hard.

"Lights out in ten minutes!" Schultz barged in and was immediately bombarded by Scamp who ran meowing to his feet. "Back, back, Shnell!"

"'E's just doing 'is job!" Newkirk protested, grabbing Scamp from the floor. "Good boy! I'll make a guard dog out of you yet."

"Newkirk, _that _is a cat!" Schultz leaned forward and said in a lower voice, "Please, I do not want a cat that chases me like a dog! If you are up to monkey business-,"

"Schultz, leave the cat alone," Hogan stepped between them. "They're getting more daring as they get older. We're trying to discipline them, but, they are Germans, as you know."

"It has only been a day!" Schultz looked from Newkirk to Hogan and then at Scamp, who at the moment was doing his best to get out of Newkirk's hands. "How can they be older? You are up to something!"

"'Ow can you say that, Schultz? We're new at this."

"And you know the saying, 'turn your back and they're all grown up'." Hogan looked sadly at Scamp. "They sure are growing fast. A few more days, and we won't be able to keep them in the barracks anymore."

LeBeau took that moment to jump up from the edge of Carter's bunk, exclaiming dramatically, "Oh, Belle! You've grown another three inches! What am I going to do with you?! Now your box is too small!"

Schultz' eyes doubled in size, "Nien, they were just kittens!" He frantically marched over to the box, only to find them all crowded inside it, with hardly enough room to move around. "How? What? What have you been feeding them?!"

"Just powdered milk, Schultz," Carter shrugged his shoulders. "But, in America, if you want to grow really fast and get strong bones, you're supposed to drink milk. I never thought that it worked this quickly," Carter chuckled. "Of course, I never drank much milk either."

Schultz looked like he was on the verge of panicking, and sounded like he was about to lay an egg. "You must stop feeding them that! If they grow bigger, they will get out and Herr Kommandant will send me to the Russian Front!"

"And that's if the Gestapo doesn't come by first," Hogan crossed his arms over his chest. "Boys, I don't think we really thought this one through."

"Maybe Schultz could ask around town and see if anyone wants a kitten?" Kinch suggested. He scratched the top of his head, "That way Kommandant won't find out he was in on it all along."

"But Herr Kommandant doesn't know I was in on it!"

"No, Schultz, you mean Klink doesn't know you were in on it _yet_. Just because you know nothing doesn't mean Klink is the same way." Hogan quickly pointed out.

Schultz shifted in his boots, "What should I do, Colonel Hogan?"

"What can you do? It's either wait for the inevitable, or ask around town. It's not like you expect _us_ to ask around for you?"

"Nien, of course not! You are prisoners!"

"Well?"

Schultz' shoulders slumped, "I will see what I can do." All the faces of the occupants of Barracks Two lit up and they looked at each other with large grins and smiles. "Lights out in five minutes!"

Once Schultz was gone, Carter pulled the real box out from under his bunk and started transferring the kittens into it. "You guys were great! Way to go looking pitiful!"

"And what about me and Scamp 'ere? What praise do we get?"

"Ya'll did okay too," Carter took Scamp from Newkirk's hands and gently nuzzled him in with the rest of his siblings. "Especially you, Scamp."

~HH~

"Colonel Hogan, I found an old man who wants a cat for his farm," Schultz whispered during morning roll call.

"Perfect! See, Schultz, that wasn't too bad, was it?"

"Ha, Jolly Joker! I still have four more to go!"

"Just pull your puppy dog eyes and no one will be able to resist you," Hogan quipped.

"Puppy dog eyes?" Schultz scrunched his eyebrows together. "But, what about the kittens?"

Hogan wrapped his arms around his chest, "I'll explain it to you some other war."

Satisfied, Schultz continued walking down the line of prisoners, counting heads in German.

~HH~

"Which one are we giving away, Colonel?" Carter asked, trying not to sound as sad as he was.

"Schultz didn't say," Hogan frowned. "It's up to us, Andrew."

"Boy," Carter looked down into the box of kittens, biting his lip as he looked into the sleepy blue eyes of each one. "This is going to be a hard choice."

The rest of the Heroes gathered around, each taking one of the kittens out of the box. LeBeau was the first to speak, "I will not allow him to take Belle away. She deserves so much more then living on a farm and eating rats. She should belong to a lovely mademoiselle, not an old boche farmer."

"Germany is going through a shortage of French mademoiselles these days, Louis," Kinch softly remarked, looking into the eyes of Princess. "And I just can't imagine a fussy cat like this living on a farm."

"You are right about that," Newkirk smirked. "She'd be too busy licking 'er paws to see the rats."

"And Sparky only likes me," Carter whispered softly, holding the kitten close.

Hogan looked around his group. Although Newkirk didn't say anything, he had a feeling that the Englander would want to keep Scamp a little longer.

Despite what they had all promised, it seemed like he was the only one who had gotten away with naming a cat and not getting attached to it. So, Hogan looked down at the sleeping Tom with a grin, "Well, Tom, it looks like you are the first of our children to be sent out into the world. You just seem like the kind of cat an older man needs."

~HH~

That night, only four kittens remained. Tom was on his way to the farmer. Carter lay in his bed silently dreading what would happen next. It was only just a matter of time before Sparky would be taken away from him. He turned over on his side and lifted the blanket from the kitten box, taking Sparky out and petting her behind her orange and black ears.

"Don't worry, girl. If anyone gets you, I'll make sure they're good people. I promise."

He closed his eyes and fell asleep with the calico kitten tucked safely in the crook of his elbow.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

LeBeau was the first to wake up, so he started getting the milk ready for the kittens that were beginning to move around in their box. He lit a candle and poured the powdered milk into a bowl before coming over to the side of Carter's bed.

Sparky lifted her head and she looked at him with sleepy eyes, still curled up in the crook of Carter's arm. LeBeau smiled. Newkirk had been right. One day they had kittens, the next they had family.

"Bonjour, Sparky," he whispered as the little kitten stretched, letting out a big yawn. "Did you sleep well, petit minou?" Sparky closed her eyes and started kneading into Carter's side with a quiet purr.

LeBeau shook his head and reached into the box, gently pulling out a random kitten. Princess. She was not in a good mood and immediately starting whining like her life depended on it. LeBeau took that opportunity to cram the washcloth in her opened mouth and she desperately started sucking.

Above him Newkirk turned over, half asleep, "Is that you whining, Louis?"

"Non, of course not! It is Princess!" LeBeau hissed. "Go back to sleep."

"Tell that to 'er," Newkirk grumbled, slowly sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He slipped down from his bunk and grabbed one of the posts to keep from falling over. "What time is it? Two in the morning?"

LeBeau just shrugged and continued feeding Princess. The grey kitten was licking her lips and demanding more milk. "Okay, okay, tell all of Germany, why don't you?" LeBeau nuzzled the corner of the washcloth back into her mouth with a roll of his eyes.

Sitting down beside him, Newkirk looked over at Carter and Sparky. He shook his head and sighed, "Those two. Andrew's not going to want to give 'er up."

"If you're staying up, quit talking and help me," LeBeau nodded toward the table where another washcloth was folded and waiting.

"Why not?" Newkirk stumbled over to the table and picked up the washcloth. "Everyone else 'as gone crackers around 'ere." He lifted the blanket that covered the kitten box and felt around for a ball of fur. "Louis," He blinked and cleared his throat, slowly removing his hand. "The box needs cleaning again."

~HH~

Schultz cautiously approached Newkirk after morning roll call. He was surprised to see the cocky Englander cleaning kittens. It was certainly a sight to write home about.

Newkirk heard his solid steps and looked up from scrubbing Sparky, "Morning, Schultz! Lovely day, isn't it?"

"Ja," Schultz squinted up at the bright sky before leaning his riffle against the barracks wall.

"Nice day for bathing rotten, smelling kittens," Newkirk continued, dropping Sparky into a laundry basket and reaching into the dirty box to get Belle.

"Corporal Newkirk, be careful with them!" Schultz protested, as he hurried towards them. He stood over Newkirk, looking down at the kittens like a protective mother hen. "They are just babies!"

"Take it easy, Schultz! I know what I'm doing!" Schultz didn't look so sure. Newkirk grinned up at the big sergeant reassuringly. "Trust me, Schultzie, I wouldn't run the risk of getting murdered by Andrew, or stabbed through the 'eart by LeBeau's wooden spoon." He smoothed down Belle's fur and started speaking in a soothing tone to her, "There you are. You're right pretty. I can see why Louis takes pride in you."

Newkirk smiled when he saw Schultz relax at his words, even if they had been a bit exaggerated. He finished with Belle quickly and gently put her in the laundry basket, leaning back on his heels. "Now, tell me, Schultz, did you find anyone else who wants one of them?"

"Well, I have almost convinced Frau Weber to take one."

"A woman, you say?" suddenly, Newkirk showed some interest.

"Ja, and what a woman! She must be at least eighty years old, but she is_ very_ sharp! She has insisted that she see each one before her final decision! I _must_ take them to her this evening."

Newkirk looked down into the basket of clean kittens, wondering which one the elderly woman would choose.

~HH~

The prisoners crowded around Schultz, and Carter snatched the box from the big guard's hands. He carried it to his bunk and sat down, almost too afraid to look. Schultz' voice, as he related to the prisoners the story of Frau Weber's two hour long decision, didn't reach Carter's ears.

"Well, who did she pick?" Newkirk sat beside him and put a hand on his back.

"Um," Carter lifted the blanket and Sparky looked up into his eyes with a hungry meow. A big grin crossed his face, "She didn't take Sparky!"

Newkirk yanked the box off his lap, hiding the relief in his voice. "Gimme that." By now LeBeau was standing at his side and Kinch was at the table, watching closely. Only Hogan appeared to be interested in Schultz' story, although it was probably an act. "She got Princess," Newkirk looked up at Kinch. "Sorry, mate."

"Hey," Kinch smiled. "If anyone would have been happy with an old rich lady, it would have been Princess."

~HH~

The next day Schultz announced that his nephew, Wolfie, would be getting one of the cats and it needed to be the _nicest_ one. LeBeau shook his head defiantly, "Belle is going to a mademoiselle! You will have to pick someone else!"

Newkirk smirked at the stubborn expression on LeBeau's face, "Face it, Louis. You're dead set on a mademoiselle for different reasons."

"I am not!" LeBeau stuck out his chin with a glare. "I just want what is best for Belle."

Tilting his head, Newkirk opened his mouth to speak, but Hogan cut in before he could say anything, "Come on, fellas, pick one already. Don't keep Schultz waiting."

Carter looked at Sparky sadly, "I don't know, Colonel. Do you think she'd like living in the city? She's always reminded me of a country cat."

LeBeau and Newkirk exchanged glances. Each knew how much Carter loved Sparky.

"He can have Belle," LeBeau mumbled at the same time Newkirk offered Scamp.

Schultz looked just as sad about the whole thing as the two corporals held out their favorite kittens. "I cannot choose! Colonel Hogan, it is too hard."

Newkirk took a step forward, "'Ere, Schultz, take Scamp. 'E'll make a good play mate for a li'l boy."

Schultz frowned and looked at Scamp with sorry eyes, "Colonel Hogan, are you _sure_ there is _no _other way?" Suddenly his face lit up, "Maybe you can hide the kittens in your quarters!"

"And have the Gestapo find out?" Hogan crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "Not a chance."

"G-Gestapo?! I- I don't think I have a choice! I am so sorry, Newkirk. I wish you could keep them all," Schultz stammered and quickly reached out for the squirming kitten.

Newkirk handed Scamp over and gave Schultz a pat on the back, "Don't worry about it, Schultzie. Just think of it as an apology for popping Wolfie's balloons."*

~HH~

The bunk above the tunnel entrance flew up and LeBeau climbed out, a huge smile on his face as he quickly took off his beret.

"Well?" Hogan asked impatiently.

"Snow White said the Gestapo have withdrawn from the ball bearing plant and it is now safe to blow," LeBeau said over his shoulder as he stood in front of the cracked mirror, patting down his hair.

"Then what's the big occasion, Louis?" Newkirk called down from his bunk. Amusement was evident on his face."You 'ave another date with a _bird_ in town?"

"Non, Snow White has agreed to take Belle tonight," LeBeau reached into the kitten box and pulled out a sleepy Belle, wrapping her snuggly in his red scarf. "I will be back before morning roll call, Mon Colonel!"

Hogan sighed as LeBeau disappeared down the ladder, "Well, that's four down, one to go."

~HH~

_Dear Mavis,_

_It's been right dull around here lately. I know I wrote you a few days ago, but, there's nothing much to do so I thought I'd make up for the past three weeks that I haven't gotten around to sending you anything._

_Remember how I was telling you about the kittens? Well, all but one of the little rascals have been given away. With Princess, it was good riddance. That cat couldn't keep her mouth shut to save her life. That being said, now you know why it's so quiet around here._

_Only Sparky remains, and I tell you, the longer she stays, (yes, it's a girl), the harder it'll be for Andrew to part with her. I still have half the mind to mail her to you, that way Andrew will quit fretting and things will be back to normal. Well, as normal as you can expect sharing the barracks with someone like Andrew, if you know what I mean._

_He's feeding Sparky now. Those two. _Newkirk looked over the edge of his bed and rolled his eyes. _Anyway, take care of yourself, you hear?_

_Your brother, Peter_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"Schultzie, I've been meaning to talk to you."

Schultz stopped dead in his tracks. The _Englander_ wanting to talk to _him_? Red warning lights flashed in his head screaming possible monkey business.

"Ja, Newkirk, what do you want? Can't you see I am _very_ _busy_?"

"Oh, this will only take a minute," Newkirk caught up to him and handed him a cigar. "Care for a smoke?"

Now, Schultz knew there was something going on, "Nien! What are you up to? Please, I want no monkey business!"

"Come on Schultz, what's with all the questions? Can't enemies ever take a break to be mates?"

Narrowing his eyes, Schultz looked Newkirk up and down. "How long of a break?"

Newkirk lit the cigar and handed it to him, "Oh, not long at all."

~HH~

"Sergeant Carter, I have found a home for Sparky," Schultz announced excitedly after roll call.

"Huh?" Carter closed the barracks door behind them and swallowed hard. "You, you have?"

"Ja, and I promise she will be in _very_ good hands!"

Carter looked up at Hogan who shook his head with a sigh, "I'm sorry, Andrew."

The technical sergeant nodded and slowly walked over to the box, picking up Sparky and holding her for a long second. "Bye girl. Remember me, okay?" The kitten meowed and started kneading into Carter's bomber jacket with a satisfied purr.

Schultz was so caught up in the moment, he forgot to say anything else and pulled out his handkerchief, dabbing his eyes.

_Cor blimey, Schultz, pull yourself together! _Newkirk stepped between Schultz and Carter, elbowing the big guard. "'Ow about telling 'im who you're giving 'er to."

"Oh, Ja," Schultz tucked his handkerchief away and cleared his throat, talking in a booming voice. "Sergeant Carter, Sparky is going to live with my family until after the war is over. And then, _you_ can come and take her _home_! Is that alright with you? I have *five children and a wife and a good yard-,"

"You mean it, Schultz? You're gonna take care of her and everything?" Carter almost couldn't believe his ears.

"Oh, of course I will!" Schultz smiled warmly and reached out to pet Sparky. "I thought you would be happy! Really, it was Newkirk who-," Newkirk rolled his eyes and jabbed Schultz in the ribs with his elbow. "Ow! I mean, when Newkirk gave Scamp to Wolfie, I decided I wanted Sparky!"

"Oh boy! Did you hear that, Sparky? You're going to be living with Schultz for the rest of the war!"

LeBeau slapped Schultz on the back with a proud smile. "You really are a good German after all, Schultzie!"

Carter hugged Sparky close, "You better believe it, Boy!"

Epilogue:

_Dear Mavis,_

_I got your letter, but it came a little late no thanks to the bleeding mail service. I can't believe you even so much as thought I was serious! Me, mailing home a cat? Not bloody likely. But, being the animal lover you are, I guess I can understand your excitement at the prospect._

_After all, every one goes around the bend sometimes. Although me own sister? Cor, Mave, how do you _**_think _**_I could have mailed you a cat? I'm a prisoner of war! Please tell me you were joking._

_I'm sorry (or thrilled) to tell you that the last kitten is now living with Schultz. But don't worry, for Schultz' sake it's only until the war is over. And, for all our sakes, I hope that is very soon._

_Your brother, Peter_

**Author's Note: I hope ya'll liked the story! This is my first post and I'm really excited to continue writing! There were a few things I wanted to point out...**

**1) Klim Milk was a real brand of milk that the prisoners got in their Red Cross parcels. It is very interesting to study up on the history of the milk. Although probably not used for feeding kittens, the cans were used as shovels, ventilation for tunnels, candle stick holders, and other tools that the prisoners wouldn't be allowed to have.**

**2) I believe Schultz states that he had five children in one episode. If not, that is my mistake! Still, I'd like to think he had kids. He certainly had experience with the POWs.**

**3) Also, Newkirk really does pop one of Wolfie's balloons in the episode 'What Time Does the Balloon Go Up?' I just thought it would be fun to bring Wolfie into it, and I thought, like Newkirk, that Scamp would make the perfect 'mate' for a little boy.**


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